One good aspect of having my story published here is that the readers are enthusiastic commentators. I’ve published choice rejection letters, so to balance things up, below are a few of the favourable reactions. I’ve removed some extraneous discussion about car parking in the US, and I’ve also removed the names and locations of the people commenting, just to be on the safe side.
Pretty depressing that the antagonist seems to have developed more than primal intelligence and never got the punishment he so sorely deserves.
Will there be a part 2?
Really good work.
Im itching to see him get his just desserts in the most macabre way possible.
Comment by XXXX on April 21, 2010 @ 1:01 am
Well written bar a couple of sentences I had to go over again, amazing atmosphere/imagery. If I was pushed to be critical then I couldn’t visualise the TV guys and would have liked more description of them, I also found it difficult to distinguish who was talking as the diaogue seemed similar for all of them, but certainly in my top 5 for atmosphere. It drips with foreboding. Whens part 2 again?
Oh I liked the fact that the word Zombie didn’t appear once as well.
Comment by XXXX on April 21, 2010 @ 1:59 am
Really nice work, very creepy and well written. You should write some more of these.
Comment by XXXX on April 21, 2010 @ 10:57 am
This is some good writing. I liked how the story built, and I haven’t seen a better example of doing dialogue without repeating “he said” over and over (not that there is anything wrong with “he said;” I just like how you crafted the dialogue without relying on it in this story).
The writing technique itself was clean and didn’t get in the way of the story.
I guess the story is the only tweak the work could maybe use that I can come up with. I didn’t think there was a story really. To put it simply — some characters go to an execution and it ends badly. The execution definately works as a climax, but I think there needs to be some arc for the characters that climaxes with the end, as well. I have no idea what that might be, but other comments seem to support something missing, asking for a sequel and what not. Like maybe the reporter could be against the death penalty and when all heck breaks loose, he is the one who ends up killing the infected person, and thus an arc occurs as he changes from his original viewpoint.
Other than that, very nicely written. Like I said, I enjoyed your writing style.
Comment by XXXX on April 21, 2010 @ 11:08 am
Really good atmosphere- both the foreboding and capturing the atmosphere of a newsroom as deadline approaches (I worked as a newsman for a brief time). The car park reference was the only giveaway and easy to pass over, the rest of your dialogue and slang was spot on. Can’t say I agree with you on the death penalty, but that’s personal beliefs. It didn’t ruin the story for me, at least. I can see why no sequel- there aren’t any characters in here that I want to live, but that’s in keeping with Z fiction.
Comment by XXXX on April 21, 2010 @ 9:00 pm
Good story, expertly paced for sure. One question though; was this the zombie apocalypse? I know you alluded to more zombies, but it seemed like the killer was an extremely intelligent zombie and there’d be no way anyone could survive a world of zombies like that haha.
Overall I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. It read like a novel which was fun.
Comment by XXXX on April 22, 2010 @ 9:02 am
Hands down the best story i have ever read on this site. i have been reading here for years and this is a masterpiece.
Comment by XXXX on April 22, 2010 @ 4:15 pm
Loved reading a story from the doomed reporters perspective. Part 2 is easily written from all the back story you’ve given, just make it from the views of another reporting team, or the ones in the “murder house”. Over all great read, look forward to more
Comment by XXXX on April 26, 2010 @ 12:35 pm
Excellent story! I enjoyed it start to finish. I’ve read enough stories based in the UK and watched enough shows like Doctor Who or listening to the Ricky Gervais podcasts that I didn’t even really notice the localized wording. But I had assumed it was based in the US because I wasn’t sure if capital punishment was still practiced in the UK. I know it’s very controversial and European countries tend to be more progressive than the US when it comes to controversial issues.
Anyway, the story was great, excellent descriptions! I agree with Pete though, more description of the characters themselves would be nice.
Comment by XXXX on April 26, 2010 @ 4:37 pm
Very pleasing indeed!